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this girl i used to know called me.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
sometimes, all the bad things just hit you at once. you know, that feeling where nothing's just right. but i guess, you need the bad times to appreciate the good ones.
i guess, in this puddle of a mess, i'm just trying to cling on to the one thing that gives me hope: you. but somehow i have doubts, i'm giving up so much, much more then i realise. but honestly i just get so caught up with you, and how i should be able to make things right with you, how i should give the most of happiness to you, all of my time should be spent endlessly with you.
i'm scared, i'm blind, i'm losing that bit of me. but i'm doing this just for you.
so what should i do?
i didn't mean to change my life, i didn't mean to put it on hold, i didn't mean to put anyone else behind. i don't know, i'm tired. and everythings deteriorated, my energy, my motivation, my life, my friendships.
i wish things were different, but its funny because looking back i don't know how i would have done things anymore differently. and i really don't know what has made me different to the girl i used to be.
i think i'm happy, i honestly do. but, there's always a but.
Monday, August 8, 2011
we tried so hard to make it right. and to everyone else it was perfect.but sometimes behind the scenes, we accidentally let the little things slip in between, the cracks letting alive our insecurities, what we've always dread of. and they tell us to face it, but how would they know. they would never know. and at dawn they rise, they haunt us, threatening to break us from forever. but we knew better, we ignored them, we pushed past. we've got this far, closer to forever. Yet in the midst of happy smiles laughter and joy, there hid something else. and i question, is forever, ever enough?
**
they said nothing ever went wrong. maybe that was the problem, they didn't live like we did. they just bore with it, put up with it until their time would come. they wouldn't understand what we feel. we were cold, but always warm. your voice was harsh, but comforting. you knew i bickered, but loved every bit of it. so they have no right to judge, they have no right to ask. and i not need tell anyone.
**
i didn't need jewels. i didn't need empty words. i didn't need forever.
i just needed you, right in that moment, right in this moment, in every moment to come.