itsHER
the girl next door


nguggy.
16; sydney. a relatively good girl. feeling like she has a lot to say yet doesn't know how. So maybe these stories and scribbles of thoughts might turn out pointless to you. Maybe You'll dig some meaning out of them. Or maybe, you'll maybe one day even think and feel like she does. Maybe one day, you'll finally truly understand. Maybe you could even tell them for her. Just maybe. xx_.

lalapewpewBOP!
herLOVESā™„
the bummies

melanie.
julie.
lamah.
angiee.

herJOURNEY
past & present

June 2009
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affiliates
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facebook.
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his.
hers.
this.
that.
Dear you,

because sometimes i don't know how to get you anymore;
because it was always you. && somehow i hope it always will be.
PPJjunior

talking to myself. (8)
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Lately, i have to admit, i act like such a child, a very superficial one.
I don't know whats wrong with me, i suddenly snapped and changed. I don't know who i am anymore. What are these importances? Money? Fashion? Mobiles? Reputation? Popularity?

Who is it that yearns such foolish things? because i am sure if its me...

This selfish obnoxious child who cries at slightest things, causing tantrums and demanding things her way.. she's so unfamiliar to me...

I'm so scared.. i don't want to change.

But the thing is in reality, money is what makes the world goes round. My fashion illustrates who i am. My reputation sculptures others thoughts upon me.

Honestly, i'm so tired of having to be the mature one, whos constantly thinking of what is right, how to satisfy the mother, how to protect the sister. For once, i'm thinking about myself, what i want, what i need. But somehow, it doesnt feel right, nothing feels right. Nothing ever does...

I wish i could wake up tomorrow and tell myself to forget the past shape myself again from today...

Work.. is shit. Tomorrow, i will work and i will paste a smile unto my face even though my eyes are threatening to pour.

Today i said to my sister, its raining again. It truely is, its so bad, i can't see the way anymore, and I feel so lost.


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