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loves laughter,
Sunday, February 28, 2010
the sound of happiness?well, okay been smiling to myself wayyyy too much lately.
~
Lately, been doing the usual? School. Dogging Homework. Vietschool. Work.
Things are abit rough at home, but somehow little things are allowing me to make my way through it all.
On saturday had vietschool, and umm saw people? LOL. maria wasn't there so didn't have that much fun. && the teacher picks on mecause he knows i SUCKASS. :(
LOL, well afterwards went city with c.g to get marys present. it wasn't as bad as i though, i was abit scared since never been on a one-to-one thing with cindy. but we had soooo much fun :D
she got me this really pretty heart thing. AND now my mums sussed about me having a guy.. LOL shutup :L OMG THOUGH. me and cindy found $20... LOL and we did other "shit".. literally.. :L
Then today had a long shift for the extra money, so hopefully i'll have enough to last me at marys party. is 30 enough? hope so. OKAY, what else.. umm oh! i saw eiken(?) today! what a nice chap! even shouted me candy when i insisted him not to x)
poor guy hahah, he's so funny in a cute dopey way! hopers angie liked my joke + feels better :(
ANGIE ADD ME ON MSN YOU GRONK: lil_g3ri@hotmail.com
ummm, okay wells i have a "Want" llist now. like theres probably alot of things i want but yerh right nows its:
a blazer +
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37223244
im gonne save up for the blazer (if possible) + buy fabric and MAKE MY OWN GIRAFFE. tuhhhh :'(
LOL.
loveyu guys, hope youre all well + haspy <3
superman to the rescue?
Saturday, February 27, 2010
because, he has the ability to make me smile.
listen to my heartbeat (8)
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, visist me on >tumblr<
Barbie's prince
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
SO much has been happening lately and i'm mostly apologetic that i've been caught up in the midst of everything, that sometimes i overlook things that are most important to me. I'm smiling.
Yes, i'm happy.
But believe me deep down inside i feel like i'm stressed, tired and crumbling away.
Call me crazy, but in between those feelings sometimes, i just stop; i think about something and i suddenly find myself sneaking a smile, eagerly grasping for that piece of happiness. So lets see whats been happening.
The new year has indeed brought me a new beginning. I let go of the past and possibly found something new? HA!
Wells, I'm trying to move on and I'm definitely keeping holding onto my friendships.
Been working, trying to keep up with homework the usual cramming of the beginning of school years.
Not only that, to top it off i have viet school. all the other kids besides me, peeetaa, maria and ken are like FOB. Well so's ken... HAHAHAHH but poor guy got shoved with us! wells he's funnyyy
What else? OH! wellls, work. I just need the money and yerh, hoping that i can manage all my problems and plans (:
Work was ROFL this week though, besides the fact that the guys shouted me candy, jonathan gave the cheesiest smile & we all went to eat pho in the arvo.
&& i got this really cute present $P
haha,
okays. shush.
Must stop. :L
Maybe not!
that lil noooob, SIF call me cherry !
stressed, to the MAX.
Monday, February 22, 2010
LOL, you lil noob!can't believe you were able to make me smile so easily.
Angel's Smile
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
So there's this girl, who's so called my best friend,I don't think she gets it, But i promise I'll be with her till the end.
I know shes upset,
Sometimes her pillow gets soaked wet.
She doesn't have to tell me,
But i know, cause her other half i want to be.
Her laughs may sound like baby hiccups,
But i don't mind, cause after all she's my buttercup.
Because I am her moonbeam,
I'll supply her with endless golden gaytime icecream.
Its to express my overwhelming gratitude,
For her adorable, cheering & loving attitude.
After all she's done for me,
I just wish that she would see:
Just how really very preciousness is extensive,
and without her i don't think I'd be able to live.
When i hurt, cry and am really down,
She always manages to flip my ugly frown.
In turn i always want to be there for her,
Show her how truly great she is, for all she seems to see is a blur.
When you need me, I'll scrunch my face up like I'm eating a lime
Just so I'd hear your laugh, sweet and pure like an echoing chime.
So when your tired or sad,
I'll be glad
Cause then i get to be there for you
Even when you tell me shoo
I'll reply with a boohoo
And stay with my little boo.
---
To My Buttercup;
You wanted a song- i wrote you a SYMPHONYYY!
I love you,
&thankkyou
♥
A little something called fate
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The smile makes me go highMakes my heart flutter and fly
Its gives my tummy the butterfly
Causes me to turn away shy
Maybe nothing but friends
But won't find out till the end
Hoping things will change, twist and bend
Asking cupid if he has some love to lend
Looking forward to the day
Where you might again look my way
When we find the right words to say
Causing each other to swoon and sway
This only wishful thinking
But its so real I'm scared of blinking
Don't want my hopes to go sinking
Especially when I imagine you winking!
It brings laughter to my heart
Love lust pure+sweet red, like a jam tart
I'm glad of this start
I pray it'll last and for now, may we never part
---
It was fate.
It was across the road and everything you would think would happen in a drama.
Like when the guy and girl stand on either side of the road, and a bus drives past, so they don't see eachother.
But the thing is, we did see eachother.
I'm crushing Missus Smuggly Wufflers.
What do i do now?
I thought it was my star
Monday, February 15, 2010
It lit up my dark nightsScared away my frights
I wanted to hold it tight
Never let it out of my sight
But It was just a plane passing by
Leaving me insane without a goodbye
I closed my eyes
Telling myself not to cry
Hoping to believe those feelings were a lie
Now those are all cherished memories born from my fears
There's even no more tears
So long ago yet seems so near
Can't believe its been almost a year
So those feelings i never let you know
Since the day we said hello
And the emotions seem to overflow
I promised myself never to let it show
And lie to all I've let you go
So now I'm heart broken
Pained by all the words unspoken
Writing this poem as a token
For all that endless lovin'
---
A day & always too late;
for him
Happy Valentines
Saturday, February 13, 2010
to all my loves out there,may you find happiness,
joy & laughters
within your every love.
May your times be filled with bright smiles
& unforgettable memories.
xx.
craving icecream moonbeam ♥
Friday, February 12, 2010
As you might know, (or may not know: depending on whom you are), lately i've been into a drama called you're beautiful The thing i love about dramas is that feeling you get.. of simply being free from your own life for that particular moment. You're not entrapped by anything and will not be afraid of drawing conclusions, because the fact is you know you will get a conclusion. One thats for sure. Definate.
You know what i mean?
Maybe not.
So many thoughts.
Pocky.
Golden gaytimes.
Apple juice.
Yet so little words to grasp that sheer happiness i feel.
Or rather, i felt
I don't believe it.
But is it possible?
Without words...
Should not have done anything
Should have ignored everything
Like something I couldn't see
Like something I shouldn't have seen
Maybe I should have never gazed like this
I should have run away and
Act like I wasn't listening
Like something I couldn't hear
It's something I should never hear
Maybe I should have never heard your voice
Without a word, you taught me how to believe
Without a word, you gave me my everything
But even as the breath you left behind remains
You're always running far away
Without a word, my heart is leaving again
Without a word, my heart has thrown me away
Now how can I reply? This voice of mine alone could never do the same
As you without a word
Why is my heart so hurting
Why won't it stop this hurting
Can't see you here anymore
Just that you're not here anymore
Apart from that it's how it was before
Without a word, you taught me how to believe
Without a word, you gave me my everything
But even as the breath you left behind remains
You're always running far away
Without a word, my heart is leaving again
Without a word, my heart has thrown me away
Now how can I reply? This voice of mine alone could never do the same
Without a word, the tears make trails down my face
Without a word, my heart keeps crumbling away
Without a word, I wait for you to return
Without a word, I take the pain and the hurt
Because I'm lost in time, you're far away so I
Can only cry into the sky
Without a word, that star was searching for me
Without a word, that star drew nearer to me
My heart was unprepared when I sent you away - I wondered how you could just have
Appeared without a word
Without a word it may show
Without a word it may go
Like a disease from before
Maybe that's what this hurt is for
So that there can't be doubts here anymore
This translation isn't the exact orginal lyrics..
but what i love is this guy translated it so precise to the way i can relate to..
He shows that there is a possibility, but no certainty...
that this is love.
never stops hurting, love
Sunday, February 7, 2010
A need and a want is often like love and lust. Can you really tell the difference between the two? All are like an undeniable desire.
An unbeatable battle.
It'll never end, never be distinguished.
The battle tears us apart, but think about it. Would we be really satisfied with either?
Its like the heart and the mind.
Which one would you choose?
They say that if you let your heart lead the way, you will be sacrificed by others in your own foolishness and naivety.
But would you be able to live with your own conscience knowing that other lives are at stake?
So many things to say. So little words.
Why do these things hurt so much when they're suppose to make us happy and help us to make the right decisions. Why is it that things still continue to go wrong either way?
How do we live now? Where do we go?
What can i do?
Don't want to keep it inside, yet can't find a way to let it go.
I have so many people for me, yet i feel so alone...
So small and invincible in this world...
After a month... I still can't help to think of what would've happened if i didn't. I should've. But could've i?
The other day i was talking to a friend, and I don't know, i guess i just felt empty, incomplete. Something missing... Is it what i think it is? I don't know...
i wonder if things could and would be different
its like
my tummy feels bare
im longing for something
that i know i wont get
that doesn't exist
Just sitting here, unconsiounsly thinking. Doning other things. Homework. Msn. Music.
Yet unconsciously, the tears fell down. One after another. Trying to block the thoughts out. Trying to tell myself
its not my fault.
But its not working. And I'm still crying.
pressing shift9, shift;
Hoping that i can fool myself.
I want to stop writing this. To make myself show that I'm okay. But i feel like if i don't I'll even explode.
Kabooom. I'll be gone. All these emotions will be gone. Everything, even time. will stop.
I just want things to be okay. I want to turn back time to when I'm not like now...
Is it so wrong to try and give my mum and sister something more?
Will it hurt them more than before?
Maybe it would've been better to just let everything go...
Honestly i tried, to put aside my own past to let the future be rebuilt for my sister and mum. But why the fuck did they screw it up time after time?
All I'm left is another broken relationship, an untended family and a past of nightmares.
And it hurts. God it hurts
Hore and more each time.
A cut causing the gash to appear deeper than before.
But don't you fret. Don't you worry...
This gash is hidden by a bandage so you won't be able to see it.
But i said don't you worry.
Someday, the gash will heal.
Or It'll just hurt itself until it hurts no more.
Either way.
It'll end
I'll make sure it will...
Saturday, February 6, 2010
yesyes mother. everythings always my fault. happy?anywhos wanna get all this shit out of my head.
lately, I've been getting into photography. Not so much because i have talent.. maybe yerh its because i just want to find that bit of me you know?
also, photography is just sometimes so amazing you know? Everything is always rapidly changing... and the ability to capture that one moment... It's like magic in the palm of your hands. To take control.
Sometimes, you forget. I mean with all the happenings within a day how could you remember everything as each second, minute and hour passes day after day? But, that one image once in the blue arises such unexplainable feelings. Whether it be happiness or sadness, it comes overflowing and almost as if you've relived the experience.
Can't wait till i get my camera, sure i may not be able to do anything extraordinary, but maybe i'll learn to live and escape into the moment.
Today, bought a photography mag. Learnt alot of new techniques + camera shizz. My camera's actually not too bad (:
Discovered something new >CLICK HERE<
wish i'd get that for birthday ):
weee, thats actually a really long time from now. or is it?
hope all is well for you loves. x
so cold (8)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Well, sheralweeeeen is sickiee. :( feeling abit better since haven't been doing much this arvo. Prob go to sleep after i blog these thoughts.
Touched upon something in english which made me think and wonder.
The in between.
Reality and dreams.
I lay somewhere in between in struggle to figure things out.
I guess its in between where all the hope, my hope lays.
Not ready to grasp reality yet too scared to let my mind wander.
With one hand I'm reaching for the better possibilities, with the other shielding myself&getting ready for the worse.
I'm stuck in between holding onto a bunch of nothingness...
& its tearing me apart inside
pi.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
some things in life, have an exact answer. others don't. I guess it comes down to mind & matter. pi.
such a little number which can make such a big difference. It holds the answer to hundreds of questions, problems and whatnot.
I guesses, i hate math.
I'm a girl that likes to twist and mold everything for a possibility of something better. I like to imagine of the many possible outcomes, play each scene over and over within my head.
Of course, this isn't a good thing. I am honestly very much clingy and attached (or so says a friend.) I always turn to my close one for reassurances, i will not take a step further until I am sure that all other outcomes would be worse, i won't walk that path until someone is holding my hand or i know that i will return.
I wish, that sometimes i knew all the answers to my heart & to my mind. I wish i could fast forward and rewind my life and make amendment for the better.
So, i may not be happy with all aspects of my life, but honestly in some sorts. I'm happy. (: Everythings going so well i've coped a week of senior. Mum's well. Narellie is umm.. behaving haha?
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ordered my camera :D ! So about a week till it arrives? Well hopefully anyways! Hope i did it right~
Anyways time to head off for bed and early start with morning maths class.boohoo.
Shout out to my nozza. i feel so violated and stalked :o ! haha
Missus Snuggly Wufflers, I'm sorry i haven't been around lately. Hope everything is okay with you deary.
x