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Monday, December 28, 2009
shit. that kinda sums up the day so far and its 10am? i had the WORSE sleep. i went to bed after 11. didn't manage to properly fall alseep till 1am. woke up sweating and so suffocated, so i decided to turn the fans on. about an hour later i wake up shivering and my nose running. i seem to be okays nows though..
no not really. woke up the the rain outside. thats shit bruhh, as much as i hate heat i can't stand clouds and rain. they make me feel all dopey.
As i manage to linger between sleep and wake, i am disturbed by my mums voice, on the phone with the guy arguing about shit knows what. and its been an hour, theyre not even finished. So it kind aputs me in a position idk what to do, tried going in to comfort her, she told me to get out. so i'm on the computer, again.
Pisses me off man, i'm not up for shit when everything just seeemed fine again. that fcken son of a btch, after all i had to put up with and shit you think he'd be able to stay aorund a couple of years and make my mum happy. even though he's acting as a 46yr old single parent no job going to tafe. i LET THEM BE. i knew he wasn't the type to make her happy, he won't be able to sweep her off her feet, nor get her flowers now and then or any type of that shit. HE packs up and leaves her all alone. and i'm not u[p for it after all the shit i've been through this year. all thosenights fcken overdosing and crying and shit. and when i finally get over it and fuck what not. he decides to leave her. running away to melbourne. so whats gonna happen to my mum?
shes lonely again, she's waiting. i just want her to be happy. and i feel even shitter cause as a daughter i haven't been able to say anything. seriously FML.
im not in the mood for anything and al i feel like doing is staying in bed and crying. for what? who knows anymore.
thats what my lifes ever been about. everything something remotely seems okay or getting better, a storm comes through and washes it away.