itsHER
the girl next door


nguggy.
16; sydney. a relatively good girl. feeling like she has a lot to say yet doesn't know how. So maybe these stories and scribbles of thoughts might turn out pointless to you. Maybe You'll dig some meaning out of them. Or maybe, you'll maybe one day even think and feel like she does. Maybe one day, you'll finally truly understand. Maybe you could even tell them for her. Just maybe. xx_.

lalapewpewBOP!
herLOVESā™„
the bummies

melanie.
julie.
lamah.
angiee.

herJOURNEY
past & present

June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
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December 2010
January 2011
July 2011
August 2011
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affiliates
you're on your way

facebook.
tumblr.
formspring.

inspirations.
big world outside.

his.
hers.
this.
that.
Dear you,

because sometimes i don't know how to get you anymore;
because it was always you. && somehow i hope it always will be.
PPJjunior

maybe its better if we don't speak at all (8)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
So much has been happening...
my thoughts are running wild and these past few days i'v just been so exhausted. I wake up and i want to go back to sleep.. i binge eat too, then i starve myself.. like wtf.. i know its unhealthy and shats but i can't help it..

honestly these past few days i haven't been able to talk to anybody properly, well besides julie actually. we talked about alot actually.. and now i'm really doubtful about alot of things...

mary has been getting on my nerves..she's just so nosy now.. she's changed, but when i think of that i think so have i. I'm such a hypocrite arent i?
today something slipped outta my mouth when i talked to julie..
i said: "i just can't be happy around mary". i wonder if its true.. she just makes things so awkward now, and like she makes me feel shit and degraded. i know i don;t try enough, and i know that i don't seem smart but idk.. like why does she hafto be so erggh when i do get a higher mark than her? can't she just be happy for me...?
& shes becoming the next katrina.. she eavesdrops and starting to put on a "voice"...
i love my group but ever since i got with them, honestly i've become stereotypically "asian". i can't even hold a long convo with the aussies and i've lost my high. i wonder where that happy chappy bit of me went...
maybe theres nothing wrong with mary, maybe its jsut me.

I haven't talked properly to elena since thursday night... i don't know what to do; thats a week ago. time goes so fast yet so slow and i'm losing my way, losing my count.. but anyways, i can't force her to open up to me can i? if she needs to she will.. but what hurts is that she's been talking to mary, no not because i'm jealous or anything but elena bitches to me about mary, and yerhh.. i'm just thinking why she turned her back to talk to mary... julie told me something.. apparently elena mightve bitched behind my back.. i wonder if it was elena that spread all the talk about my formal partners and yerr.. i hope it isn't julie had a point but idk.

*sighsigh, being the talk of all the shit made me so tired. i didn't want to put up with all the questions, but thats over now and i wanna mend the friendship between me&elena and me&mary. but idk who to trust anymore... and idk what to do.

**

i visited your blog today; i know that sometimes my words don't mean much, but honestly sooner or later your mum will come to terms... and i guess jigging is just a "break" for yu from everything.
next year is a new year and we'll do our best together, i promise i'll be there with you (:
hmm... i watch the video and skimmed through your photospam.
it made me wonder if yu have like that with me when we're together? idk.... i just feel like a shit friend who can't help you nor anyone atm.

GREAT. more thoughts to sleep with tonight... xx


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