itsHER
the girl next door


nguggy.
16; sydney. a relatively good girl. feeling like she has a lot to say yet doesn't know how. So maybe these stories and scribbles of thoughts might turn out pointless to you. Maybe You'll dig some meaning out of them. Or maybe, you'll maybe one day even think and feel like she does. Maybe one day, you'll finally truly understand. Maybe you could even tell them for her. Just maybe. xx_.

lalapewpewBOP!
herLOVESā™„
the bummies

melanie.
julie.
lamah.
angiee.

herJOURNEY
past & present

June 2009
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January 2010
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affiliates
you're on your way

facebook.
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inspirations.
big world outside.

his.
hers.
this.
that.
Dear you,

because sometimes i don't know how to get you anymore;
because it was always you. && somehow i hope it always will be.
PPJjunior

Tuesday, September 29, 2009
i was never that person everyone thought i was. i was never that happy, bright, cheerful, hopeful girl. i just never really revealed the vulnerable side of me...

to yu; i'm not saying that i was right, nor that i had it worse. but honestly, sometimes it felt as though that those moments of our bickers were the only time that i would get you to talk... sometimes we'd not talk for days, then we'd see eachother and it's be the highlight of my week. those rare sincere moments within our moments of despair. the stupid remarks and jokes we made. the carelessness, the childness within us revealed, with nothing to fear. but what about the other moments? the dark, cold nights? it doesnt take a genius to figure out that things aren't right or okay for you. you started to isolate yourself again. and honestly its only those times when i chose to pick up an argument that you would let yourself out... every day i tell myself it'll be okay, i put on a smile for the world, and every night i feel so tired. there are some things worth giving up for. not everything in the world is going to go our way. you can't force some things. so i'm trying to hold on now. but honestly, its not working is it?
all htose plans we made, all those jokes. those memories....

i dont like confrontations nor things head on. i've had enough of them..
&i don't know whats wrong with me anymore; everyday is a blur. it goes so quickly, yet i feel like i'm not going anywhere. i'm not doing anything.

so we all know that everyone has a talent right? something that they are truly good at. yet i can't seem to find mine... i guess i still have a lifetime, but it feels though time is running out.
i feel my life is so mechanical sometimes...

hmmm..

lets just leave it at that for now....


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