itsHER
the girl next door


nguggy.
16; sydney. a relatively good girl. feeling like she has a lot to say yet doesn't know how. So maybe these stories and scribbles of thoughts might turn out pointless to you. Maybe You'll dig some meaning out of them. Or maybe, you'll maybe one day even think and feel like she does. Maybe one day, you'll finally truly understand. Maybe you could even tell them for her. Just maybe. xx_.

lalapewpewBOP!
herLOVESā™„
the bummies

melanie.
julie.
lamah.
angiee.

herJOURNEY
past & present

June 2009
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his.
hers.
this.
that.
Dear you,

because sometimes i don't know how to get you anymore;
because it was always you. && somehow i hope it always will be.
PPJjunior

building blocks.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
yu know when blocks pile one on top of another.. eventually they fall and break. i suddenly feel like that. what do i do..
when the person who can cheer me up is not there.
when the other who i can let it out to is not there.
when the one i need to talk to is not there.
i know so many people. yet i feel so alone.
stupid blogshit. i should stay away from it. i let it out but it makes me sound like a depressing cunt.

i feel like jumping out the window.. imagine, like the flying fox or sky diving. the rush of adrenaline. being free your thoughts that one moment. just truly forgetting.

tears. neverending. they stops but on the inside, they're overflowing. one pain. one after another. waiting for that point. im waiting. i think unless i fall and break. i cant let it go. but im scared. scared of the outcomes. i want to talk to that person. that person who so closely guessed my pain. but im scared. because i know that they dont want to tlk to me. i killed it. like seriously i did . i think im a mentally retarted child. i have a headache i want to ramble then id be distracted. so ill just do it here...

i cant do it. at the end of the day. its happened and it happened to me. i cant let it out to anyone in anyway so i sit here alone. and the one way i jaksdlk;llkd

..

sometimes i wished i could press repeat on the happy hours.
sometimes when someone tries to act like they know me; or know whats best for me. i just wanna scream in their face " yu dont fucken know what happened to me today or yesterday or a year ago, so dont try to tell me who i am or what i should do".
sometimes.. its just sometimes.
and right now; its this sometimes. im so selfish...

but then and again, how could i tell yu when i know that your hurting as well, for your own reasons. because i know what i have to share will hurt yu more it s a great burden i hold. a great burden i will pass on.

someone once told me it wasnt worth it.. if only i could believe could trust.. but that person broke that trust...
so did the other..
and the other..
promises were made to be broken ..


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