itsHER
the girl next door


nguggy.
16; sydney. a relatively good girl. feeling like she has a lot to say yet doesn't know how. So maybe these stories and scribbles of thoughts might turn out pointless to you. Maybe You'll dig some meaning out of them. Or maybe, you'll maybe one day even think and feel like she does. Maybe one day, you'll finally truly understand. Maybe you could even tell them for her. Just maybe. xx_.

lalapewpewBOP!
herLOVESā™„
the bummies

melanie.
julie.
lamah.
angiee.

herJOURNEY
past & present

June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
December 2010
January 2011
July 2011
August 2011
October 2011
December 2011
affiliates
you're on your way

facebook.
tumblr.
formspring.

inspirations.
big world outside.

his.
hers.
this.
that.
Dear you,

because sometimes i don't know how to get you anymore;
because it was always you. && somehow i hope it always will be.
PPJjunior

120709.2140
Sunday, July 12, 2009
my daily horoscope. so childish so kiddish. yet i just need something to guide me. to reassure me.

"Let yourself back off from the big, bad craziness that seems to be enveloping that one project you've invested so much time and energy in. If you walk away for a day or so, your head will be much clearer."

been away from the house for three days. four if you count the hours was out on thursday and friday. and ive been happier.
im scared. what have i become? this isnt me. but im happier now.
im astonished at what people have to say about me now. im ashamed.

"You're not the type of person who indulges in romantic fantasy -- not unless it's backed by what just might be an entirely possible truth. Well, you have the chance now to make a dream come true by paying attention to what your heart is telling you to do. Don't pass it up, but don't stretch that truth any farther than you know it can go, either. And do be prepared to wait. Unfortunately reality doesn't always happen as quickly as dreams. "

as i read this; i thought of two people in my life.
on one hand, i know what i want.
yet at the same time, i am really unhappy about the changes that are occurring, the changes that occur in that one person.
on the other hand, i dont know what i want. but these past few days, that person made me laugh, unintentionally too. hmm. things wont change between us. i know that. but the things ive known have always been so unpredictable, i just hope the path im taking now is perfect or somewhat shaped ahead. that the roads will not be cracked, and ill have less falls and breakages.

"There's no clear path through the fuss other people are kicking up. It's okay if you don't make any progress, as long as you have something to show for your idleness. Meet new people while you're standing around. "

i dont understand. it seems to say so much to me, yet nothing at all. physically, ive laid back on all my work and family. i know everything i do now is shitshitshit. hoepfully, just hopefully, everything will turn out okay.

"A kind of romantic wistfulness characterizes your approach to life now. This could mean a longing for a soul mate or a yearning to save the world; it could mean carrying a torch, as well. Secret loves, lost loves - all you need is love."

i laughed at the last sentence. where is the love i now yearn ? where is the love?


everything there for me seemed so right, yet so confusing. my head hurts now. truly it does. i think id better go shower and do something lightheaded. watching a movie i guess? im sorry if everything you read, if you read was so useless. meaningless for you. right no, im just so lost in my own life. im just waiting i guess. once again, for what?i dont know...

xx_.
nguggy


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